As a parent I believe we are forever striving to do the best for and by our children! This can be a burden and a blessing. I feel this can be a combination of both, as we strive for perfection in many areas of our parenting journey. Parenting can at times feel like a burden, stemming from an innate and inner stress/anxiety, which often arises when we first have a children. The immense and overwhelming pressure often clouds our enjoyment and rational judgement during those exciting and tender times before the next sibling may come along. However, through what feels like an often cloudy period of time comes the blessing of grown, learning and self belief that our children inadvertently teach us.
If you haven’t guessed already I have been doing a lot of self reflection lately as I contemplate that fact that I am moving on from having children to raising my family. I feel I have grown so much as a person over the past 9 years, from the first moment I found out I was pregnant with my first child. I believe I have really found my feet as a parent these days, it only took 3 children, and have been thinking about how blessed I am and how much they have taught me about myself. On refection I have gone through all the thing I wish I could have told myself from the first moments I found out I was going to be a parent.
Don’t over think a situation that may never occur! Live in the moment and address any issues as they arise. Children have taught me that I can no longer control all in my world and the less I try the more I will enjoy.
Don’t suffer in silence. If you need to talk or are worried about any part of your life or your child’s life, find a trusted friend or family member and talk about it.
Having children can be very isolating at times. But a simple catch up with friends/family or even an afternoon walk can make us feel normal again!
As beautiful as our children are it can be so so hard! Work on ensure you take time out for yourself to help regain some form of sanity and balance back again.
Ask for help if you need! There is no harm or no shame in asking for help in any aspect of your parenting or life journey.
Find ways to stay connected with your husband/or wife! Children can really create a divide in a relationship. But it’s about finding new ways to stay connected and in love!
You will not have as much sex as you would like, mostly because you will be too tired to think about it! But it is not forever and your sex life will return one day.
No your money is no longer yours or spent on you. Pretty well all your income with go to putting a roof over your child’s head, cloths on their back, food in there mouth and entertained. The sooner you can understand that the sooner you will accept that you will be handing out money to your children forever. And sadly you will go without to ensure all your child’s needs are met.
There will be hard times! There will be good times! There will be average times! But there is always someone in the same boat as you no matter what time in your life! Or, someone in a much worse situation then you! So aim to shift your thoughts and start fresh the next day, if you have a bad day!
You will want and need sleep more then you have ever before!
You will find an inner strength to deal with situations or even day to day life, which you never knew you had!
You will feel a love you have never felt before.
Breathe! Deep breathe fix all.
Be kind to yourself
I think the main thing I have learnt to date is; that life is really what you make it. You can take those bad days and time, and use them to become a stronger, more confident and empathetic person, but only if you open your mind and soul
to allow this growth. If you close your mind and soul off to grown, change and new thing you will struggle with parenting, or more so find it to be more of a burden then a blessing. Over the years I have really worked hard to try and flip my negative thoughts to positive thoughts and even find a personal growth opportunity out of a bad situation.
I am defiantly still growing, learning and striving to be may best self each and every day for my children and husband. But I do feel I have found a much more balanced and inner peace with my life and parenting style. Acceptance is a big learning curb as a parent. The more I have learnt to accept myself, my parenting style, my life and the small amount of control I really do have at times, the more I am truly at peace and feel blessed!
So if you are a parent who is in limbo at the moment and finding like to be a little more of a burden then a blessing, please feel free to take on board any on my life lesions that I have learnt this far!