No matter how many children you have or how old they are, our parenting goals are often the same throughout their life….. “Aim for perfection in every area of our parenting/personal/work life”.
So then what does perfection really mean?
Is it a clean house, amazing and healthy meals, great sleeping children, always having your ironing and folding done, being the best lover and having sex with your husband every night (let’s be honest no one is achieving those goals), having an immaculate yard, achieving all our work goals, getting children to school and sporting activities on time, making sure lunches are packed with the most nutritious food possible (that you can get them to each) or spending countless hours with our children bonding and playing. Well, perfection is clearly all of the above and more! For most of us this is our to do list for each day plus more. Wow, who is exhausted just reading that list of goals, but let’s be honest this is what we expect from ourselves as parents each day!
Now I’m not saying don’t have your to-do-list for the day and it’s wonderful to have goals and always want the best for our children and families. I’m just saying let take a deep breath and aim for realistic goals and a realistic form for perfection.
Even as I type these words I know I am guilty of over committing and aiming to achieve unrealistic and unnecessary goals every day! But awareness and realisation that realistic goals and perfection come in many different forms for each family. And not achieving those goals of perfection if ok and our work is not going to close in on us!
However, I feel that the ultimate perfection (or appearance of perfection) is the way of this new generation of parents. I do not want to harp on and complain about social media and the unrealistic expectations we put on ourselves because of the things we see and read online. I think we live in a very blessed time, where the internet and social media can be such a wonderful and helpful tool in our lives. But I feel that it is balance and a sense of reality that our modem day parenting style may need to adopt.
“Sadly even the thought of achieving that balance and aiming to be happy and at peace with our lives is another thing that we need to add to our to do list!
Because our list isn’t demanding enough we now have to aim for a perfect balance in life”……..
I believe we are always going to have a to do list that looks like the one we have discussed, and no amount of Balance, Zen and Inner-Peace is going to change that. But what I think what we need to learn adopt and even teach our children, is to do be kinder to ourselves and ask for help if we need. There is always going to be those days where we feel like a failure and…….and that’s just life. But if we can aim to shift out thought and be kinder to ourselves, then hopefully this will help to eliminate that immense stress and extremely overwhelming state that life can make us feel.
So what is the point of all this noble talk……It is to get parents to stress less and enjoy life more with our family and friend. It is so easy to fall into a depressed and resentful state of mind, which is really toxic for all areas of our lives, including our mind, bodies and soul! Therfore, by aiming to shift our thoughts to ones that are positive, or ask for help when needed, or talk to someone instead of bottling up our stressful thought, then we are on track to helping achieve that balance and happiness in life.
Not to mention create a realistic life and outlook for your family. ‘Keeping up with the Jones’ is not realistic. Your life is very unique, you create your own path and how your choose to walk that path. Parenting and life is hard for everyone, so except those hard days for what they are, instead of resenting the fact that they are stopping up from achieving Perfection. So from this point on aim to be kinder to yourself and work on creating a realistic frame of mind!
This means you need to add a couple more things to your to do list this week……
1. Deep Breaths
2. Realistic Goals
3. Life isn’t always perfect and that’s ok! Because no matter what happens you’re the best mother or father for your child or children and no one else would every provide them with the eternal love and support you do!
I promise these additions to you’re to do list will help you achieve your parenting goals and find your balance in life.